OK let me get this out of the way. I hate the Yankees. I hate all their bandwagon fans, I hate the money they through at players who don't deserve it, I hate how they and their fans have an elite sense to them and most of all I hate that the Jays are in the same division as them. Moving on.
Now that we know that I hate the Yankees let me say this. I'm not jealous of them. I have no problem that they spend all that money or that they destroy the Jays. However I am jealous of Mr. Derek Jeter. The man has everything I want. Women, money, good looks, and the ability to swing the bat. I respect Jeter though. He is a class act and because of that I want to say congratulations. Out of all the great players to ever play for your prestigious team, you are the only one to get 3000 hits. That is a list of stars that include Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, Lou Gehrig, Yogi Berra and Babe Ruth, the player many consider the greatest ever (even though I think he is VERY overrated but that's a story for another day)
So today I stood up for you, gave you a round of applause but next time you come to Toronto I'm going to be behind the plate heckling you, you can make damn sure of that, but today I cheered for you. And that is something that you should take solace in. Today people who hate you or are jealous of you stood up and cheered because you are such a class act and while I am infuriated that you have the swing, 3000 hits, make millions of dollars and get to go home to Minka Kelly, know that I respect you. However when A-Rod hits his 3000th I'm going to fucking rage because that guy is such a douche knob.